A Strategic Way to Start Needed Conversations about Money with Your Parents Over the Holidays
The holidays can be a time of joy, connection, and reflection. But for many, they can also be a bit of a wake-up call. You go home to visit your parents and suddenly notice the small things: unopened mail piling up, confusion over online accounts, or a half-joking comment that suggests they don’t really understand their retirement plan.
If you’re part of the “sandwich generation” or raising your own children while beginning to support aging parents, you’re not alone. Many of our clients find themselves walking a delicate line this time of year: wanting to help their parents without overstepping, and unsure of how or when to bring up finances.
One place to start is to ask about Required Minimum Distributions (RMDs).
A Natural Entry Point
RMDs are mandatory withdrawals from certain retirement accounts, typically starting at age 73. If your parents are at or near that age — or if they’ve inherited an IRA — they’re likely facing these rules, even if they don’t realize it.
Because the rules around RMDs can be complex (and change frequently), asking if they’ve taken theirs yet this year can be a helpful and non-threatening way to open a broader financial conversation. It shows you’re looking out for them. Not just for their money, but for their peace of mind.
A Few Simple Questions to Consider
You don’t have to dive into every detail all at once. But if the opportunity arises, here are a few gentle questions that can lead to helpful clarity:
“Have you taken your RMD this year? Do you feel confident about the process?”
“Have you thought about where you’d like your assets to go someday?”
“Is there a place where you keep all your important financial documents or account info, just in case?”
These conversations don’t have to feel heavy. They can be framed as a way to ensure their wishes are honored and to reduce stress for everyone down the line.
They’re Probably Trying Not to Burden You
Many parents avoid these conversations because they don’t want to worry their kids. But in reality, the lack of clarity can create far more stress than the conversation itself. When financial decisions are made reactively, rather than proactively, it often leads to confusion, conflict, or missed opportunities.
By starting the conversation now — even just a small one — you’re helping your family take a step toward clarity and confidence.
You Don’t Have to Navigate It Alone
If you’re not sure how to begin, we can help. Whether you need a framework for a family conversation or want to understand what questions matter most, we’re here to guide you through it.
Helping your parents is an act of love and so is taking care of your own future. Let’s make both a little easier.
